True Colors

I’ve been told a lot lately that I’ve been living “my” life in the wrong ways.  “My” life; aren’t I supposed to live it the way I see fit.  I’ve recently fallen into myself, finding out what I like; what I don’t like.  Seeing what I believe in; and what I question.  These things are part of our journey, part of growing into the people we want to be.   Having someone tell you that you’re not a good person to “look up to” because of some of the choices you made; hurts.  I am SO sorry that you can’t believe the things I say because of the way I was raised.  I didn’t have a choice in that matter, and I’ve done absolutely nothing to you to deserve that.  That’s completely wrong to put that sort of judgment on me; and you know it.

I’ve gotten to the point in my life when someone says something I don’t agree with; I tell them.  I can’t sit back and allow people to criticize my life; they have absolutely NO idea who I am.  They are so focused on what they see and read on facebook, that by the time I talk to them; they’ve already made up on their minds on me.  People talk shit of facebook; its kinda what it’s for!  If you have a problem with something call me; message me.  DO SOMETHING! Don’t sit there and assume that you know what’s going on; act on it.  If you really wanted a relationship you would put forth an effort to have one. 

I’m gonna be completely honest here; I drink, I used to smoke, I cuss like a sailor when the timing is right & NO I don’t care what you think.  I’m 21; yes, you were 21 at some point; yes.  That doesn’t give you a right to tell me how I’m thinking.  Everything is different, everyone is different.   I plan on having an amazing life; living it to the fullest; enjoying moments while I can.  I know exactly where I want to be in 5 years, 10 years.  I know who I want to be. 

Another issue that’s been pushed on me a lot lately is God.  I was raised in a Baptist church. I watched the congregation judge everyone who didn’t fall into line. I also watched my family explode from the inside out; all the while claiming to be Christians.  (This is by no means a hit on my family, these are my personal beliefs.)  People are people to me. Yes I believe in God; but I also believe that all religions are the same.  They all want something bigger to believe in.  The world is such a harsh place, and they need something to comfort them; someone.  I don’t believe in “organized religion” I don’t believe you have to be in church to be a good person. 

I believe there is more to this world than people want to admit.  If I’ve learned nothing over this past year or so; I’ve learned that the universe has a lot to offer.  Put positive energy into the world, and that is what you will get back; same with negative.  Religious people are nothing but negative, bashing others; just because they’re different.  Who cares who you love; love is love whether it is with a women or a man; black or white it doesn’t matter.  At least it shouldn’t matter; but the world nowadays is so filled with hate, and most of that hate is coming from these religious groups, telling people how they should live.  Saying who is “right” and who is “wrong”.  So what do I believe in? Where do I stand? I stand for what’s right in MY eyes; and that’s how it’s always going to be.

So, to wrap things up I guess I’ll just say this.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry you feel so unsatisfied with your own life that you need to try and run mine.  I’m sorry you can’t just love someone for who they are.  (Actions speak louder than words; you said that yourself…remember?)  I’m sorry that you will never truly understand who I am, because you’re not willing to take the time too.  I’m sorry you don’t believe the things I’ve told you; even though they were extremely hard to tell.  I’m sorry that we will never really have a relationship; did we ever?  And I’m sorry that all I can do is feel “sorry”…for you.