You know, I wonder if you
hurt at all; knowing that I left. I gave
everything to you in that friendship (or whatever it was). You act so hard, so tough; like you don’t
care. Deep down I know you do, I know you
have to have some feeling towards me.
Now, what that feeling is I’m not sure.
I’ve heard it said that friendships are when someone is willing to do
anything for you and you for them. They
are supposed to be there in your highs and lows, the good times and the
bad. So tell me, when things got bad for
me, why did you run? Why did you just
give up on me? I would never give up on you, and you know that. I’ve never been actually scared of anyone, and
that night, (the night we talked) I was scared of you. The look of complete disconnect, watching our
friendship crumble to the ground with zero emotion. How?
After everything we’ve been through, talked about? I don’t get it; I don’t get how you can hate
me that much.
You’ve done a lot for me, I
know that & I appreciate it more than you know. But, that doesn’t give you the right to just
drop me like a bad habit when you get “uncomfortable”. I invested a lot in this relationship, and I
don’t walk away or give up easily.
Friendships have rough spots, which is how it goes, that’s life. I was and am in a tough spot in my life. Not knowing which direction to turn in, which
road to walk down. I could have used
someone to help me, to take advice from.
You have to remember, I’m young yes, but I’m also different from
you. Not everyone thinks like you, or
makes decisions like you, or handles stress like you. We are all different, but you knew that
getting into this relationship. You used
to tell me that’s what you loved about me; my different aspect on things;
life.
I asked you once “Why did you
become my friend?” and you couldn’t answer.
Why? Why couldn’t you answer? I
know you know why. I know why I became your friend. You were filled with amazing energy; you had
this draw to you. You were sweet &
kind, & accepted people for exactly who they were. You encouraged change & exposure. You took risks, and didn’t take shit from
anyone; and you were an extreme dork! I
love all of those things about you; I know you still have them. They are buried by sadness, fear, the
unknown. Look at a picture of you when
we first met, & look at one now.
That’s not you; I don’t even recognize that person. You look so sad, so lost.
This is 100% not a hate
letter; I want you to know that. I’m not
picking on you or putting you down. I’m
letting you know that after everything, I’m still me & you hurt me. You made me feel like complete shit, and like
what I felt didn’t even matter. You went
from being this amazing person, someone I could trust my life with, to someone
I could barely look in the eyes without being scared. You completely lost YOU, if only you didn’t
shut me out. I’m kind of great at being
there for people. I could have been there
for you.
I still could be
